Dear external hard drive,
You see, it started with my poor Mac, Kevin, starting to fill up. Being in college, loving music, having photo shoots on a regular basis and being a writer, my beloved Kevin was weighed down by the gigabytes of my life and so I thought, Ah ha! I’ll get a back up!
And so, you came into my life, with your sleek body, your red case and that oh so thrilling promise of an additional 500 GB of space. How I loved you then. With childlike excitement I transferred all the sounds that had kept me company through the years. With glee, I made a folder of “my stuff” of pieces I’d written as I grew into a young woman. You were fresh-water in a dessert. You were how I kept memories in music, words and pictures alive. You, my dear external hard drive, were a life saver.
I understand how you must have felt, you saved the day and yet instead of doting on you, my relationship with Kevin was stronger. I wish you had told me what you were going through. Then you started getting moody, but I loved you still and never thought you’d betray me. You should have know by then that being passive aggressive isn’t the way to tell me things. There was no need for … for… THIS.
Couldn’t we have talked about it? I’m sure I could have made you understand, that you were important to me, that both of you mattered to me. I would have put it nicely, I would have made you feel better. Instead, you decided you had had enough and you went for the big glorious “eff you”.
You stopped working. You won’t let me access my life that I had trusted to you. And so you see, I’m pissed. In fact, I’d go as far as saying a emphatic EFF YOU. If my words hurt you, I would apologize, but seeing as you’re erased half a decade of my life, I’m in no mood to be compassionate.
So allow me to say: as far as being a backup – you failed. As for doing your job and keeping my files safe, you win at nothing. Thanks for erasing everything, not like I wanted it (which is why I bought you in the first place). Thank you for erasing my collection of music, and my unconditional gratitude for scrapping everything I’ve written – really, no big deal, I can just write everything again.
Oh no. Wait. I can’t.
Dear external hard drive. You suck. You suck so bad. You suck so bad I hope terminator termites torment your dreams. I hope intelligence from another galaxy humiliates you in technology history. I hope you are remembered with the fame of the Titanic but that you conjure the positive feelings of Hitler. I hope you land in hard-drive hell… and go ahead, take all my documents and playlists with you.