Inspiration


Waiting for inspiration feels like waiting for Godot.

Although my professional life is based on deadlines, I hate having a deadline for other forms of writing. I want to write because I want to, not because I have a time stamp looming over my head. I want to write when I’m drawn into something, sucked in by an idea, and excited about the words that come together. Nothing kills the joy of writing like having to force things out of me.

I am not a disciplined writer. My Man tells me that I should write 500 words a day to get into practice for that book I fantasize about writing (and he says he’ll take a 10% cut) but all of that feels so fake. Almost any writer will tell you that you need discipline, but to me, that just makes writing another science – of rules and rights and wrongs and formulas… and what’s the fun in that?

If I wanted precision I would have studied math where there is one correct answer and no question about it. BORING. I love psychology, I love words, I love love loooove all the possibilities! I love diving into something and not knowing what you’ll get… I love letting myself type and just allowing words to come out of me… as if they’re not my words, but I’m just a vessel that they spill out of.

I love the writing I can do without thinking because the words fall right after each other like notes do in a perfectly composed piece of music. And yet, here I am, having to meet a deadline… and I have no ideas, no place to start, not even a story I already have that I could expand on.

Sigh.

My book is so never getting done.

Advertisements
7 comments
  1. D said:

    hey shethinkstoherself,
    do not worry. i think this is exactly the kind of rite de passage that a writer goes through…it is more than a writer’s block (that is like one of the most abstract thing i have ever heard)…i think it is block that comes out of being detached from the realities…i do not make any sense but somehow i think you will get my point. the block comes out not because you are unable to write but because of the inability to express your experiences into tangible manifestations…words..i wish i could say yes, spontaneity is achievable (like James Joyce ko Ulysses which I do not even know who has read completely) or that discipline is not necessary…i wish i could but the truth is; it is not the discipline that science demands but this discipline life demands that we should not make any excuses to turn away from…:)

    • Hey D… true true… I totally agree with you. And the “inability to express you experiences into tangible manifestations” hits SPOT ON what my last post was… just trying so hard (too hard) to capture emotions into words that even I couldn’t fully comprehend… but right now my “writers block” is when it comes to fiction. blllllleh.

      • D said:

        hehe…well best of luck..but seeing your blogposts..it is hard for me to imagine you with a block…but i guess i know what you mean(?) 🙂 and since i am already commenting here, hahahaha…i totally enjoyed reading the post on scrabble…hahahah 😀

  2. theshinigamizgf said:

    you know what, i feel the same, whenever i have my pending book and m not really working on it…cause i have seemed to lost my flow….When i m writing, its like i m watering the flowers, i carry the hose and let the water flow out!!! When thats not happening, my writing turns out to be something not so fun to read-like!! writing when not in the mood= the veggies your mum compels you to eat and you just swallow it and drain them down with a glass of water!

    Its funny how a single person, a thing, a scene or a word can automatically inspire you to create you the best combination of words!!
    I love your blogs, they are soo true and sometimes so relate-able!!!

  3. thoughts said:

    Today ,I was at a fancy restaurant(i have a point on saying the fancy part ok ,i don’t go to those type of restaurant ) so moving on so i was waiting for the food oooo to get packed ,so a man comes up to me smiling ,i am weird out, so i say Do i know you, in nepali that is and he says that he is a writer and he was trying to sell his book which he had in his hand ,i am weird out more for no way i look like some book reader and to top it up i had 70 rs left in my pocket after i payed for the food.So i act weird which i do most of time and my friend asked that man about him and his book ,so he tells that he is from some village named dolakpur or something and he works at some kirna pasal(local shop) ,and my friend says he doesn’t know that place so that man says you don’t know dolakpur or something and they look at me for answer ,well i don’t know dolakpur or something too you know ,so i look at the book it was titled charcha and had his photo( when he was young ,i guess wanted to keep a good photo,which i asked about and he told the photo was old not him hehe )..so he must have known that we were not going to buy his book so when he was just about to leave he turned back and told His Revelation in his life(most probably) which goes ,have you noticed nowadays all people watch tv and all those stuffs well it’s worthless ,sahitya is what life is about it teaches you so much and he was proud to have contributed ,well he ended his words with a proud smile so may be he meant it (MAY be he said those words for he felt he was being judged for what he was doing ,well selling books at some fancy restaurant(seeeeee my point about fancy restaurant) . well i could had bought the book out of pity or respect(respect for what he was doing i am weird hehe) or maybe both but i didn’t have the money i felt bad eeee….TRUE STORY…
    So the story apart You seemed pretty vexed about starting and then finishing your novel hmmm From what i read from your post i could say You don’t want to be forced into doing something yet you seemed to be forcing yourself hmmm( i guess it counts as a different thing) …. You seemed to have set some deadline for your novel yet you are saying you don’t want deadline double hmmm (i guess here deadline counts as i want to do it before i die thing hehe )
    i have a suggestion seriously i am so officious hehe i have read from malcom gladwell guy that if one wants to be really really really good then they need 10000 hrs, seriously 10000 hrs( i want to too :() …and timing is crucial too hehe well how did you knew, sherlock hehe …..
    So if you want to write “A BOOK” then i think you have the potential but for “THE BOOK” well ask that malcom gladwell guy he sell books like fruitcakes hehe …..

    PS i am too searching for a Inspiration well i call it Passion ,i have read in one of Sarte excerpt that well no inspiration can be strong enough to keeps you moving forever ,you have to inspire your self well almost everyday…
    i write long hehe well i wanted to give up commenting but i guess i cannot stop the natural flow of thoughts(Stole this line from gorlliaz song hehe) ok ok i will stop now … stop the dams is that gorrliaz song hehe

  4. thoughts said:

    also my brain is sticking out and i have four legs wow

  5. thoughts said:

    About you having the potential to write “A BOOK” but not “THE BOOK ” well what i meant was you may need some of that 10000 hrs for “THE BOOK” For you see pride is worst of evil so i have a habit of telling people they can be good not they are are already good,i wish someone had said that to me at times( not that i need to explain words to you but still)
    also just for some record i do read books though i look like i don’t but i do hehe also i started reading books just hoping to impress a girl though now i read in hope to understand life hehe ..

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: