sap sap saaaaaaaap

i’ve been having intense, crippling, moments where i ache and am just about moved to tears because i miss people.

it’s an odd feeling. missing someone. being wrapped up in my busy life I don’t think much beyond today, maybe the next, and just barely far enough to coordinate for big upcoming plans this year. faces, names, and memories sort of tend to get lost…until they take seige and i fall into this hole that is shaped to a particular person and people.

SD.SB.RC.RA.JA. A family plus S.RO.JR.SH.

and i have to stop what i’m doing, and close my eyes, and swallow because i’m afraid of being consumed. i hurt. and i get angry because i don’t know when i’ll see them next. if ever.

what i wouldn’t give just for a hug. a hug from each one of them. to feel them and know they’re here not just in an abstract Internet way, but they’re real – that we can connect and touch and just be in the same place at the same time. together.

human connections. across oceans. held together. by my thoughts. and the aches that take over.


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