…and there it is

so there.
now you know the story
it fell out, all hopped up
melty and sobby
like it’d been stirred and mixed in a brewery

so there,
now you know my past
filled in the gaps
explaining those blank stares
and moments of silent….of silent nothings

and now, it’s open in history
my history
bitter history
the truths the lies the hurts
the horrid-ness of my crimes
now you know.

and i’m sorry.

i’m sorry world for my imperfection
for my failed relationships
for the person i try so hard not to be but i am

world, my head is swimming
it’s being twirled like batons with gliding colorful crepe
and i’m sorry.
my head is light and weightless
giving into the Gorkha (which we wished was Everest)

here i am, sweaty and hot, and filled with….with regrets?
is it?
or is it fears?

so i pause.
i looked out the window
and instead of city-scape
what i see is flushed face reflection of me.
blank. staring.
trying again, to push everyone down, to push it away
to going back to that continuous one act play
starring me.

bow, wave, bow
exit, please.


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