You quote things to me, and I’ll quote things back to you–there will be no more of this, understood?


The glamor of youth enveloped his particoloured rags, his destitution, his loneliness, the essential desolation of his futile wanderings… And there he was gallantly, thoughtlessly alive, to all appearance indestructible solely by the virtue of his few years and of his unreflecting audacity… He surely wanted nothing more from the wilderness but space to breathe in and to push on through. His need was to exist, and to move onwards at the greatest possible risk, and with a maximum of privation. If the absolutely pure, uncalculating, impractical spirit of adventure had ever ruled a human being, it ruled this be-patched youth

Daydream delusion
Limousine Eyelash
Oh, baby with your pretty face
Drop a tear in my wineglass
Look at those big eyes
See what you mean to me
Sweet cakes and MILKSHAKES
I am a delusion angel
I am a fantasy parade
I want you to know what I think
Don't want you to guess anymore
You have no idea where I came from
We have no idea where we're going
Launched in life
Like branches in the river
Flowing downstream
Caught in the current
I'll carry you. You'll carry me
That's how it could be
Don't you know me
Don't you know me by now

She began to know me too well, and I began to hate her for it. Even when I was unpredictable, she’d predict it. For those of us who aspire to be original, that’s the worst sort of banality. She died. I’ve missed that banality ever since.

When you talked earlier about after a few years, how a couple begin to hate each other, by anticipating their reactions, or getting tired of their mannerisms. I think it would be the opposite for me. I think I could really fall in love when I know everything about someone. The way he’s gonna part his hair. Which shirt he’s gonna wear that day. Knowing the exact story he’d tell in a given situation. I’m sure that’s when I’d know I’m really in love.

_________________________________________

Self aware though you may be
I know you, better than you know yourself,
certainly better than you know me.
what to you is an ongoing discovery
to me, is a destination i already see
your thought process
your responses
your romantic notions of the world,
of what is it you’re doing
allow me my vanity to say,
i see your world before you do, i see it as it is coming:
there are truths to be found,
there are disappoints to be had,
there are changes to anticipate
i’ll leave it in generalities because
telling you the details would make this less fun for you
and less fun for me.
and i’m not too concerned with what you think
(not anymore)
as it is, already, your love means less
i’m saying this for my benefit
because i knew you once,
which means i always will
and when you come to those points in your life
i’ll smile to myself–owing it to your predictability
and you, you’ll be by yourself.

so when you said you’d be here
because you “need” my honesty and you
want to feel the “full extent” of my pain,
(though it kills you) i find myself laughing…
when did i give you anything that was but honest?
and what have you to benefit from reading about my heartache?
take my honesty and go, leave me to my pain

you and i don’t owe each other anything anymore.

of anything we had, of anything we shared,
of months, moments, conversations that once mattered
the memories will fade.

in a pillow or a poem i’ll find home, elsewhere.

Listen, if somebody gave me the choice right now, of to never see you again or to marry you, alright, I would marry you, alright. And maybe that’s a lot of romantic bullshit, but people have gotten married for a lot less.

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