as my mind wandered before sleep my thoughts jumped from island to cloud, ceiling to roof, moon to black holes. i found myself listing the books i’ve read of a future foretold. 1984. Animal Farm. Fahrenheit 451. Brave New World. you know, those types. the ones that tell of the world we are living in now.
i wondered at my disgust of the ‘system’. of us being toyed. of being played. of being watched. turned into robots. of having this desire to resist. to be free. i marveled at how my disapproval had already been immediate. of course this world is wrong. they can’t control us. we must free ourselves. free our body. be willing to be considered mad. rebel. rebel. rebel.
but as these thoughts took legs and sprang into other places, i wondered why i hated this system so much. had i not been taught this in the same way i’ve acquired every other opinion, discrimination, preconceived notions, and judgements? wasn’t this just something else i learned? and if so, could i unlearn it.
what if the system had another story.
what if, the common errors of human experience, of our imperfections, of our emotions, our inability to grow beyond a certain point –what if all of it was leading us somewhere. to the unintentional but inevitable creation of a system that governed us. us, pitiful humans incapable of ruling the self. incapable of avoiding corruption. incapable of resisting temptations–wealth, fame, sex, power. slaves to trivialities. what if we build a system, an order, a big brother, a lover, someone to constantly keep watch. keep us in line. keep us together.
imagine what we’ve done. created something to be submissive to. created someone above ourselves. created it for our own good, and perhaps our own destruction. creating life is child’s play, what if we’ve birthed our god.