a leaf happened on me today. it wouldn’t be fair to say i caught it. with my arms up ready to use my phone, a leaf nestled into the bend. i saw it and thought, well now–that’s good luck. if you wish on a leaf you catch, it comes true you see. it’s worked. believe me.
wasn’t there that one time i caught a leaf and wished to see my crush? and then later the same day happened to see him in the bazaar? didn’t it happen? it did. (but would it have happened all the same without a girli little wish? these are the things that lead to beliefs. beliefs? superstitions.) i picked it up by the stem and twirled it in between my fingers as i walked.
to wish or not to wish.
did i have wishes? of course. of course. wouldn’t i want to be able to travel where ever i want whenever i want. don’t i ache to see dear friends who live too many seas and miles away. couldn’t i use a couple of nice set ups to get me through with a little more ease. a little extra cushion in the bank account.
there are desires maybe. and there are wishes.
i knew the two i’d struggle to choose between. a matter of the head or the heart. so easy when they agree. such torment when they don’t.
what to wish for. on a leaf, that maybe choose me. heard my need.
security or sanity. society or separation. sin or sin.
away from the concrete, where grass outlines the earthen path, i returned the leaf and decided to ask instead, for direction.